It's time to say goodbye my dear.
Till next life.

Cuando estoy bien, o positivo al menos
odio todas las cosas que escribi / escribo aca

Hoy sali a caminar
me encanta caminar,y tener el tiempo para hacerlo.
como antes
Pero no me gusta la cantidad de recuerdos que tengo atados a mil lugares y caminos distintos.
Me gustaria poder dejar de pensar y analizar todo siempre.

Pense en personas, pense en cosas que me gustaria decirles
mails que mandarles
personas a las que no les intereso
por que aun asi tengo esa necesidad de expresarme siempre?
por que no puedo ser como el resto y vivir en paz?
olvidando a todos los que deje atras


soy una persona que necesita ese apoyo incondicional de alguien al lado
de esa persona que aunque no hables en todo el dia
o no puedan verse mucho
sabes que esta ahi
sabes que entre el millon de personas del mundo
esa persona esta con vos, pensando en vos
o es la razon por la que a veces seguis intentandolo
cuando todo alrededor es cenizas

que pasa cuando estas solo, en este cementerio de cenizas?

I need to overcome my feelings

Ojala todo el año fuese como el verano
onda, labure 4 hs y tengo $1000
oh si ♥

She is not perfect. You are not perfect. The question is whether or not you are perfect for each other.

 — Robin Williams in Good Will Hunting (1997)

Vincent Van Gogh used to eat yellow paint because he thought it would get the happiness inside him. Many people thought he was mad and stupid for doing so because the paint was toxic, never mind that it was obvious that eating paint couldn’t possible have any direct correlation to one’s happiness, but I never saw that. If you were so unhappy that even the maddest ideas could possible work, like painting the walls of your internal organs yellow, than you are going to do it. It’s really no different than falling in love or taking drugs. There is a greater risk of getting your heart broken or overdosing, but people still do it everyday because there was always that chance it could make things better. Everyone has their yellow paint.

I don't care if you are going to tell everyone about what i have done to you. But please, just dont forget to tell them about what you did to me.

I tell myself i don't need anyone, but the truth is
they dont need ME.

I knew it wasn’t too important, but it made me sad anyway.

— J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

I hate the feeling when you have to say goodbye to someone you want to spend every minute with

 — Unknown

Sometimes you have to stand alone
just to make sure you still can.

& I dOnt want to forget

how your voice sounds

Everybody has walked through darkness at some point, it’s part of being a human being. But you don’t understand the quality of light or the preciousness of it, until you’ve spent time in the darkness.


 — Barrett Martin.

How beautiful would it be to find someone 

who’s in love with your mind.

People change. Feelings change. It doesn’t mean that the love once shared wasn’t true and real. It simply just means that sometimes when people grow, they grow apart.

— (500) Days of Summer

Humans were never meant to bring each other happiness. From the moment we are thrown into this world, we bring each other nothing but pain and agony.

— Psycho Mantis, Metal Gear Solid (1998)

You dont know about a real loss. Because it only occurs when you've loved something more than you love yourself.

I’m attracted to intelligence. Not the book smart type of intelligence. I could care less whether you’ve gone to college or how much money you make because of it. I like intelligent conversations that make me think even hours after it’s ended. I soak up words from radical minds.

-I wish you'd stayed.
-I wish I had stayed...

Kiss me until i forget how terrified i am of everything wrong with my life.

I wish i didn't care about anything.
But i do care,  care about everything too much.

Do you know what the saddest thing in the world is? to love someone who used to love you.

A man who won't die for something is not fit to live.

Martin Luther King JR.

There are times when i am convinced i am unfit for any human relationship.

Frank kafka - letters to felice.

So much goes through my head, so little came out of my mouth.

SO IT'S GONNA BE FOREVER
OR IT'S GONNA GO DOWN IN FLAMES.

I hate getting to close to people, vecause when i thought they would always be there or me, they eventually leave.

My problem was that no one ever needed me as much as I needed them.

Have you ever loved someone who was so beautiful and pure, you couldn't bear to show them your own darkness?

isn't it fucking terrifying that no matter how many promises they made, no matter how long you've been together, someone can get up and walk out of your life without a second thought and you have to carry on living because the world doesn't stop for any of us?.

The worst feeling in the world is knowing you did THE BEST you could, and it still wasn't good enough.

I knew i loved you when i started making excuses for the way you hurt me.

"Numbing the pain for a while make it worse when you finally feel it"
J.k. Rowling.

"Depression is living in a body that fights to survive with a mind that tries to die"

ojala fuese tan facil expresarse aca como lo es en tumblr.
ojala la gente tomara tan en serio lo que hay en tumblr como lo que hay aca.
creo que voy a pasar para aca los que son txt al menos
los gif o img es mas complejo xq pierden el sentido

mientras me duchaba pensaba que tenia que escribir
o sobre que.
Desde hoy tengo la sensacion de estar estancado.
Y es cierto. si veo de aca a un año para atras
en plano general es asi.
Escucho su voz remarcandome que no cambio nada, que no hago nada como un eco
y me molesta.
odio esta situacion.
Lo unico que veo son las perdidas de gente alrededor
gente que me conocio de años y que eran las mas allegadas a mi.
Lo cierto es que tambien conoci (reconoci) mas personas, mi entorno cambio.
Pero cuando son las 4 am, la habitacion esta oscura y no puedo dormir
me siento como la ultima persona en el mundo.
El otro dia pensaba en como muchos se hacen problemas por nimiedades
o se la pasan quejandose de mil cosas a las que no les buscan solucion
como si quejandose todo fuese a pasar magicamente.

Me molesta que mi lado emocional se culpe o busque explicaciones.
Busque opciones o cosas que podria haber hecho para que las personas que no estan no tomen esas decisiones, no actuen asi. Mi lado racional me dice que es al pedo, que cuando las personas te van a traicionar, siempre van a encontrar una excusa. tarde o temprano, y es mejor asi.


por otro lado me copa las personas que conoci
en caso cercano o particular (viendo que acabo el jueves)
me copa haber caido en el sotano, el chino y marisa como profesores son geniales  y super copados.
me copa haber conocido a seba, que es super random que sea de hurl y ni lo conociera. y que ahora hablamos bastante, o mayra con la que tengo muchas actitudes o rayes en comun.


en fin, nose.
nose que mas iba a decir


Kyo me hablo para armar algo juntos de nuevo
y seria genial l l l l l

me habia olvidado
conoci alguien mas que detesta dormir
y piensa que es una perdida total de tiempo

pense que era el unico con problemas mentales semejantes

Oscuridad casi absoluta
Un clip loopeado, sus segundos se vuelven eternos
es la unica luz en la habitacion
musica tenue casi apagada
franjas marcadas en el lugar, contando los dias desde el ciclon
b l a c k h o l e & r e v e l a t i o n s
su risa
su risa resonante
atrapada
un recuerdo, una sinfonia
la habitacion tiembla
detenla.
(tu dominas este lugar)
el sonido se propaga
llena el ambiente de bruma, de melancolia
sometimes i think i'm just falling in reverse

Es una daliva Lissey, es una daliva sangrienta!

Estoy cansado de sentirme mal, de que me agarre esa sensacion de vacio existencial.
O de extrañar a personas que no lo merecen

ultimamente estuve intentando ver mas peliculas. Hacia tiempo veia las mismas una y otra vez, y no daba :P

Sin city , What dreams may come, 12 Monkeys, Green Street Hooligans.

Me gusto mas que nada What dreams may come.
la idea del paraiso personal, la aceptacion de la muerte y la tragedia.

"Sometimes, when you lose, you win."

Once we get the chance to manipulate time, it'd be the end of everything as we know it.
it'll be a convergence of time... past, present and future as one.
before and after.will be just a memory

your past and your future, one next to another.
you could even die before you were born

i dont like the idea of heaven or hell
cuze if it's true
that would mean you're damned to hell
and i hate that thought

Escuchar algunos temas de Lana del Rey me resulta abrumadoramente depresivo, por sus ritmicas, letras, y por todos los recuerdos a los que estan atados.

I'm losing myself in my inner hell.

I n f i n i t e C r i s i s

Infinite Crisis (como muchas de las CRISIS de Dc comics) involucra al multiverso (universos paralelos).
En la crisis anterior se vio como se eliminaban las otras tierras del universo para asi prevalecer tierra 1; la tierra que todo el mundo conoce.

Infinite Crisis trata de como distintos supervivientes de las distintas tierras que fueron borradas creen que estuvo mal que apoyaran esa union de universos. Por que el universo que quedo en pie segun ellos es un mundo oscuro y corrupto; un mundo destinado a perecer.

Entonces toman la NO tan gran decision de intervenir, borrar de continuidad tierra 1 y traer de vuelta tierra 2 (supuestamente era el universo mas puro, esta basado en los comienzos de los comics donde todo aun era mas inocente).
Lo que no contaban es que algunos de los miembros del equipo tenian sus propios planes, y no se conformaban con traer tierra dos.


El arco argumental gira en torno a la pelea de los heroes clasicos por salvar su propio universo,
Y los intereses del otro grupo de personajes, cada uno heroes de los distintos universos, por recrear su propio universo.



A mi todo lo que sea universos paralelos, debates morales  y  esas cosas asi me encantan.
Aparte es un arco argumental bastante amplio inclusive si solo lees la linea principal.
Si no conocias de comics, despues de leer infinite crisis vas a conocer a casi la mitad de personajes de la empresa (o mas) debido a la dimension del conflicto planteado.

A veces no te das cuenta lo mucho que extañas a alguien
hasta que no los volves a ver

You keep your distance,
I can't deny you.
I got the feeling, can't satisfy you.
I got your picture on the wall.
I got the picture long gone.
You keep your wishes, (Keep your wishes)
I'll keep my feelings.
There goes another one that kept me breathing.
 I'm waiting for you,
I know you're leaving
I'll still adore you,
You never need me.

Hold on.
I've found another way to let you go, away.
Hold on.
You find another way to bleed my soul, away.

The things you told me,
To hear you speak.
I'm burning slowly,
I'm growing weak.
You bring me closer to yesterday,
Yesterday's a million miles away.
Why can't you hear me? (Why can't you hear me)
Why can't I sleep? (Why can't I sleep)
And I don't understand what keeps me breathing.
I'm waiting for you. (I'm waiting for you)
I know you're leaving,
I'll still adore you,
You'll never need me.

 

Hold On   -  Limp Bizkit

Acabo de terminar de leer el arco argumental "infinite crisis" de DC comics
y me parece genial. Al proximo que escuche decir que los comics son para chicos
lo voy a obligar a que lo lea.

Soy una persona que suele decir que estoy comodo estando solo
pero lo cierto es que en realidad muchas veces me gustaria tener amigos de verdad
o alguien en quien poder confiar incondicionalmente.
A lo largo de mi vida me fallo tanta gente
que a veces tampoco tengo ganas de realmente acercarme a nadie.

Pero extraño esa sensacion de agarrarle la mano a alguien por primera vez.
o los nervios al besarla.
Esa ansiedad cuando esperas todo un dia, u horas para ver a una persona.
Esa incertidumbre y pesades cuando las cosas se complican y no sabes cuando vas a poder ver a la otra persona.

cuando a veces tenes un mal dia y solamente necesitas escuchar su voz dos segundos
o empezar el dia con un mensaje deseandote que tengas un buen dia.


Hay tantas cosas que las personas dan por sentadas, por normales
que en realidad son la gloria misma

bueno, por fin vi if i stay
nose que pensaba para querer verla
por que deprimirse antes de ir a dormir es la gloria de la vida (?

Moriarty (Sherlock Holmes)
Rust Cohle (True Detective)
Joe Carroll (The Following)
Hannibal Lecter (Silence of the lambs)
The Joker (Dc Comics)
The Comedian (Watchmen)
The Red Hood (Batman)
Alex Delarge (Clockwork Orange)
Tate Langdon (American Horror Story: Killer House)
Norman Bates (Psychosis)
Dexter Morgan (Dexter)
Negan (The Walking Dead)
Jigsaw (Saw)
Bucky Barnes (The Winter Soldier)
Walter White (Breaking Bad)
Harleen Quinzeel (Dc Comics)
Loki Laufeyson (Marvel Comics)
Green Goblin (Marvel Comics)
Harvey Dent (DC Comics)
Crona (Soul Eater)
Kid Buu (Dragon Ball Z)
Juggernaut (Marvel Comics)
Castor Troy (Face/Off)
Solf J. Kimblee (Fullmetal Alchemist)
Sweet Tooth (Twisted Metal)
Starscream (Transformers)
Apocalymon (Digimon)
Sasori (Naruto)
Pein (Naruto)
Deidara (Naruto)
Cole MacGrath (Infamous)
Sylar (Heroes)
Clay Morrow (Sons Of Anarchy)
Marshall Krupcheck (Hostage)
Puppetmon (Digimon)
Demix (Kingdom Hearts)
Andrew Detmer (Chronicle)
William (Chatroom)

E m b r a c e Y o u r F a t e

"it’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything"

Fight Club 

“People change. Feelings change. It doesn’t mean that the love once shared wasn’t true and real. It simply just means that sometimes when people grow, they grow apart.”

— (500) Days of Summer

Rust Cohle: I'd consider myself a realist, alright? But in philosophical terms I'm what's called a pessimist.

Marty Hart: Okay, what's that mean?

Rust Cohle: It means I'm bad at parties

Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you get good at.

Rust Cohle

There is no such thing as forgiveness, 
people just have short memories. 

Rust Cohle 

Look, as sentient meat, however illusory our identities are, we craft those identities by making value judgments: everybody judges, all the time. Now, you got a problem with that... You're livin' wrong. 

Rust Cohle

This... This is what I'm talking about. This is what I mean when I'm talkin' about time, and death, and futility. all right there are broader ideas at work, mainly what is owed between us as a society for our mutual illusions. 14 straight hours of staring at DB's, these are the things ya think of. You ever done that? You look in their eyes, even in a picture, doesn't matter if they're dead or alive, you can still read 'em. You know what you see? They welcomed it... not at first, but... right there in the last instant. It's an unmistakable relief. See, cause they were afraid, and now they saw for the very first time how easy it was to just... let go. Yeah They saw, in that last nanosecond, they saw... what they were. You, yourself, this whole big drama, it was never more than a jerry rig of presumption and dumb will, and you could just let go. To finally know that you didn't have to hold on so tight. To realize that all your life, all your love, all your hate, all your memories, all your pain, it was all the same thing. It was all the same dream, a dream that you had inside a locked room, a dream about being a person. And like a lot of dreams, there's a monster at the end of it. 

Rust Cohle

People... I have seen the finale of thousands of lives, man. Young, old, each one so sure of their realness. You know that their sensory experience constituted a unique individual with purpose and meaning. So certain that they were more than biological puppet. The truth wills out, and everybody sees. Once the strings are cut, all fall down

Rust Cohle

Martin Hart: Not me, brother. I keep things... even, separate. Like the way I can have just one beer without needing 20. 
Rustin Cohle: People incapable of guilt usually do have a good time. 

“Some people, no matter where they look, they see themselves.”

—	Nic Pizzolatto, True Detective

“This place is like somebody’s memory of the town, and the memory’s fading. It’s like there was never anything here but jungle.” 

 

 

—	True Detective

“If the only thing keeping a person decent is the expectation of divine reward then, brother, that person is a piece of shit and I’d like to get as many of them out in the open as possible.” 

 

 

—	True Detective

“In eternity, where there is no time, nothing can grow. Nothing can become. Nothing changes. So Death created time to grow the things that it would kill and you are reborn but into the same life that you’ve always been born into.” 

 

 

—	Rust Cohle from True Detective

“I think human consciousness, is a tragic misstep in evolution. We became too self-aware, nature created an aspect of nature separate from itself, we are creatures that should not exist by natural law. We are things that labor under the illusion of having a self; an accretion of sensory, experience and feeling, programmed with total assurance that we are each somebody, when in fact everybody is nobody. Maybe the honorable thing for our species to do is deny our programming, stop reproducing, walk hand in hand into extinction, one last midnight, brothers and sisters opting out of a raw deal.” 

 

 

 

—	Detective Rust Cohle

"You see, we all got what I call a life trap, a gene deep certainty that things will be different; that you’ll move to another city and meet the people that’ll be the friends for the rest of your life, that you’ll fall in love and be fulfilled. Fucking fulfillment and closure… Whatever the fuck those two fuckin’ empty jars to hold this shit storm. Nothing’s ever fulfilled, not until the very end. And closure…. No, no, no… Nothing is ever over."

Ruth Cohle - True Detective

I cant shake this feeling
like i'm mad all the time & want to punch someone in the face.
i feel the vibe of the anger rising
and i dont know how to take it out

_{"Everything in my head went quiet.} 

_{All the ticks, all the constantly refreshing images just disappeared.} 

_{When you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, you don’t really get quiet moments.} 

_{Even in bed, I’m thinking:
Did I lock the doors? Yes. 
Did I wash my hands? Yes.
Did I lock the doors? Yes.
Did I wash my hands? Yes.
But when I saw her, the only thing I could think about was the hairpin curve of her lips.. 
Or the eyelash on her cheek-
the eyelash on her cheek-
the eyelash on her cheek.
I knew I had to talk to her. 
I asked her out six times in thirty seconds. 
She said yes after the third one, but none of them felt right, so I had to keep going. 
On our first date, I spent more time organizing my meal by color than I did eating it, or talking to her.. 
But she loved it.
She loved that I had to kiss her goodbye sixteen times or twenty-four times at different times of the day. 
She loved that it took me forever to walk home because there are lots of cracks on our sidewalk. 
When we moved in together, she said she felt safe, like no one would ever rob us because I definitely lock the door eighteen times. 
I’d always watch her mouth when she talked- 
when she talked-
when she talked-
when she talked;
when she said she loved me, her mouth would curl up at the edges.
At night, she’d lay in bed and watch me turn all the lights off.. And on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off. 
She’d close her eyes and imagine that the days and nights were passing in front of her.
But then.. She said I was taking up too much of her time. 
That I couldn’t kiss her goodbye so much because I was making her late for work.. 
When she said she loved me, her mouth was a straight line.. 
When I stopped in front of a crack in the sidewalk, she just kept walking.. 
And last week she started sleeping at her mother’s place. 
She told me that she shouldn’t have let me get so attached to her; that this whole thing was a mistake, but.. 
How can it be a mistake that I don’t have to wash my hands after I touch her? 
Love is not a mistake, and it’s killing me that she can run away from this and I just can’t. 
I can’t go out and find someone new because I always think of her. 
Usually, when I obsess over things, I see germs sneaking into my skin. 
I see myself crushed my an endless succession of cars..
And she was the first beautiful thing I ever got stuck on.
I want to wake up every morning thinking about the way she holds her steering wheel.. 
How she turns shower knobs like she opening a safe.
How she blows out candles- 
blows out candles-
blows out candles-
blows out candles-
blows out-….
Now, I just think about who else is kissing her. 
I can’t breathe because he only kisses her once-he doesn’t care if it’s perfect! 
I want her back so bad.. 
I leave the door unlocked. 
I leave the lights on. ”}

You make me Sick
You make me nervous

se me habia roto el html del blog
pero ya lo arregle, no lloren (?.

yyyy son las 4:51 (:
y no termine de sacar el tema
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

wooooooooooo. me falto.
avance con el modelado del mini hellboy, that's cool
ya tape con la masilla epoxy los huecos del eva 02, asi que ahora me faltaria lijar y aplicarle base
y tambien reforce la 2nda mascara de Neddles Kane.
Aparte le puse el correaje a la mascara original, me falta reemplazar los remaches por que me quedaron cortos, pero independientemente de eso el resto esta. y se ve genial.

Esta semana empiezo el curso de protesis de cabeza, y todavia no se que hare.
mi primera idea fue Davy Jones, pero voy a dejarla para cuando aprenda animatronics, esa cabeza + los tentaculos moviendose va a quedar genial.
Ahora mis dudas estan entre Green Goblin (el animatronico descartado en la pelicula de spider-man) , Bebop , ooo podria ser Hellboy mismo.
Probablemente haga el Green Goblin, es un pj con muchas dualidades, e insanidad + obsesion por los chistes. Asi como joker en DC comics (no por nada cuando hay mezclas entre ambas empresas los unen).

Me molesta que me cueste tanto expresarme, inclusive por aca.
Pienso mil cosas para decir o escribir. y despues no se como y las dejo pasar.

Semana bastante aburrida,
abri el facebook de Diamond Rose y habia un inbox de juan para beel
hable con el y le dije que ese fb no se usaba hace mil
y que con ella no estabamos juntos hace un tiempo, asi que no podia hacerselo llegar tampoco
pero le di el num de tel que se de ella, y la direccion de su tumblr
que es la unica red social que aun tiene abierta, a pesar de que no la volvio a actualizar jamas.
Le pedi perdon por los comportamientos que pude haber tenido hacia el en su momento
el dijo que no tenia xq pedirle perdon, que entendia de todas maneras
y me agradecio, varias veces.
hablamos un poco mas, y ya esta.
A pesar de que nunca fui realmente amigo de el, me gusta que todo quede bien, y realmente espero que el logre hablar con Beel y se arreglen. No hay nada mejor que esos amigos de muchos años.

me contacto varia gente por distintas bandas, todo bastante aburrido a decir verdad.
pero bueno
me contacto una banda que parece buena, tienen un cd hecho, y otro en grabacion.
Aparte tocaron fechas copadas (siendo la ultima de ellas el metal para todos)
y una gira hecha por mexico.
Ahora todavia estoy sacando los temas que me dijeron, hoy los veo
y veremos que pasa.
ojala salga bien eso.



Hay un par de personas que me estan hinchando las bolas
pero no es toooodo el tiempo
son comentarios, actitudes.
pero inevitablemente me ponen de peor humor.
lo peor es que en uno de los casos en particular siquiera nota cuando me pone de mal humor
o me habla de cosas que no me interesan, y me parecen malisimas.



PUUUNTO aparte, estuve hablando con Male de nuevo mucho como antes.
Aunque me molesta que cuando se arregla con Ale me re cuelga xq el otro gil a pesar de todo me tiene celos =B ; flaco gil.
Me molesta que seamos amigos hace 16 años ya, y hace dos que no la veo, como minimo x como tenemos los horarios, y su pareja. etc. una bronnnnnnnnnnnca me da.
Aparte la convenci de leer Percy Jackson y ya se leyo todo el primero, y empezo el segundo. Dijo de ver las pelis, pero no sabemos como hacer, y la muy gila no quiere venir por que dice que mi flia la debe odiar (R)







AYER (antesdeayerenrealidad)
con Matt fuimos a One Ok Rock
que buena banda, y que bien suenan en vivo
la voz de Taka en vivo es muchisimo mejor que en los vids y cds
ojala vuelvan pronto D=



quiero agregar secciones al blog para hablar de mi y mis gustos/cosas
pero me tengo que re sentar
y me da paja e.e